GretaDVD - 2019
From the critics
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I'm not a perfect man.
-Which is fine, except now you're quoting Bill Clinton, so...
So, how was the job?
-It was fine, you know, until I figure out...
What to do with your life?
-No one ever does.
Okay, this is Manhattan. You find a bag, you call bomb squad. Don't open that.
Yes. A spa day. Or we could do a colonic. Come on, it'll be fun.
- Will it be?
Yeah. They jet asparagus juice up your ass. And it's not just about cleansing your body, it's also very good for short-term memory.
Hmm-mmm. Jason Largo was dyslexic, and since he's been doing them, now he can say the alphabet backwards.
You were friends, weren't you?
-We were acquainted for a while, and then she went away. Poof. Not a word. But that's young people for you. They have their own lives to lead.
Don't cry, angyalom. (angel in Hungarian) We all make mistakes now and then.
-No, my roommate from Smith. Her dad bought her a loft in Tribeca for graduation, so we're breaking it in.
If those are mine, I'm gonna dry-hump you right here.
Ma'am, technically, she can stand there with a telephoto lens and a tripod and take your picture if she wants to. Public area, her rights are protected.
A restraining order. How could I apply for one?
-You file a petitioner's affidavit before the court administrator. Once the filing fee is paid, it's forwarded to the judge for review. The judge may then schedule a hearing.
And how long could that take?
-It's Manhattan. The courts are overcrowded.
The bags, you see, were the perfect solution. Who would believe a simple green leather handbag would solve an eternity of loneliness? Endlessly recycled through lost and found. "If found, please return to..." Oh, yes, they brought company.
"Liebestraum." Do you know what it means? A dream of love. Because that's all love leaves us with. A dream. A memory.
It was actually a really spiritual experience. They cleanse your soul, not just your butt, to the sound of shamanic singing bowls and pan flutes.
-Please be kidding.
Did I just snort crystal meth, or did you just offer to go dog shopping with an old lady?
I'm left with this... This dream of her, and I don't want her to fade.
-It won't. If you keep it here. In your heart.
You know, my friends say, uh... I'm like chewing gum.
I tend to stick around.
Why do you always think that you can just tell me what to do?
-Right, I'm just some superficial bitch. But I don't see how making some random lady your surrogate mom is normal.
-You're gonna pretend that that's not what's going on here? It's so obvious, it's sad. She's not your mother.
I'm gonna try and forget that you just said that to me.
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